So, I thought before I go any further that I should give you some background about me and how I got to be here. I’m an artist, always have been and hope to always be. I have known great success but those days are behind me now. At present I’m at a lull in my career-partly due to changing tastes in the marketplace but more to do with my own angst, inertia, alcoholism and indifference about my relationship between my art and my life, which for the past five years has been some of the worst emotionally and financially that I’ve ever experienced. I’ve been in a relationship for three plus years with a man seventeen years younger than me and surprisingly it’s been the healthiest relationship I think I’ve ever had, sad statement since I’m fifty one but “it is what it is”. Like most relationships we’d had our ups and downs and we were definitely on the outs when all this happened in January but since then we have rallied. What we are right now is “family” and “there for one another” no matter the distance. But, more on that later…..suffice to say that when this all this started I had a full life, it was fucked up, fun, boring at times, exciting at others and I was trying my best to stay afloat financially, creatively and emotionally.

In fact, Chad and I were on a lay-over in Atlanta, trying to get back home to Kansas City after a four star disaster of a “let’s take a cruise to re-connect and get our relationship back on track” cruise when I got the phone call from my brother, Tony that no adult child of an older parent wants to get. Tony called to tell me that mom was in the hospital, she’d been found in her apartment after a fall where she lay naked on her bathroom floor for three days, disoriented, dehydrated and unable to get up or respond to help.

Apparently mom and her girlfriend, Adele had been out together shopping, as was their routine but mom hadn’t called Adele back later that day so Adele stopped by to check on her a couple days later after unsuccessfully trying to reach her on the phone. When she knocked on the door mom wouldn’t answer and when she yelled out to mom, Miss Cathy responded that she was “okay” and/or for Adele to go away (anybody that knows “Miss Cathy” knows that when she says to “go away” that she means it)

So, Adele went away but luckily she trusted her instincts and she came back the next day fearing that something was wrong and she didn’t go away.

When she returned on the third day she pounded on the door and heard the same answer, “I’m fine” coming from somewhere behind the door. When Miss Cathy wouldn’t come to the door as Adele requested just so she could “see” if she was indeed fine she went to the Condo office and police and was told that since she wasn’t a “blood” relative there was nothing they could do. Adele reached Tony who was on vacation in Atlantic City and told him what was going on and waited for them to come back to Maryland. Tony and Suemi drove through the night to get to Miss Cathy’s apartment where the police had to break down the front door because mom had a police “night-stick” barricading the door against thieves. Tony had told her to stop using the devise years ago warning her that although it prevented thieves from entering it also stopped those who would try to rescue her as well -and that’s exactly what came to pass.

Once inside they found her awake but disoriented, still maintaining that she was “fine” and all that she needed to do was “just get to the phone so that it would stop ringing” even as they had to lift her naked and wrap her in blankets to keep her warm because she was too weak to get up by herself. They took her to nearby Doctor’s Hospital where she underwent a battery of tests.

This was the story that Tony related to me as I sat in the airport on January 10th. I hung up the phone not knowing quite what to do, should I get on a plane for MD and not go home at all? My clothes were on their way to KC but did I need “cruise-wear” to deal with a medical emergency? I told Chad what had happened and we decided that it would be best for me to get home to Kansas City and then fly out to Maryland as soon as I could arrange to put my life on hold for an indefinite amount of time because I had no idea what I would find when I got to her or what would be expected out of me.

I was able to fly out two days later and arranged be away for at least a month. Tony, Suemi and Adele were around as much as they could but I pretty much moved into the hospital room so that I could be as available as possible and not miss a doctor if/when they came around.

By the time I got to the hospital the tests were all back and it seemed to me that they led to more questions than answers. When I walked into the hospital room and saw her lying on the bed she looked as if she’d aged ten years since I saw her not a year ago.

Since mom had no memory of the fall or her time on the bathroom floor she was no help to the doctors at all. She suffered no broken bones and only minor bruises so physically she would recover but I was immediately concerned that she didn’t seem like herself. Although she’d been in the hospital for a few days, had eaten, was hydrated and rested she still seemed disoriented. The doctors’ at the hospital explained that they thought her mental condition w as temporary and would clear up in time but Tony and I were not satisfied with that prognosis.


I talked to her primarily care physician and told him my concerns. Dr Granite is a man she’s been going to for more than twenty years who knows her quite well and has treated her for a variety of maladies. He’s one of those old fashioned doctor’s that you don't see much of these days-sincerely involved and vested in his patients well being and care. Once I described what I saw and what I knew of her situation (which he was already apprised of) he suggested that event though the CAT scans and MRI were clear of any trauma that I should request that a neurologist met with her and that’s exactly what I did.