Miss Cathy was up early this morning, dressed in a nice black and white ensemble: white hat, black oversized tee with one of my graphics printed on it, white “Capri” pants and black naturalizer shoes and a Hunter green purse for a dash of color. Adele is coming to take her out to the Salvation Army to donate more of her stuff-some clothes, old purses and stuffed animals. I guess they’ll roam around afterwards, or at least I hope they do till early afternoon, which will give me a respite from having to work in my little room.

I was happy yesterday that mom was so engaged in putting together her things to donate. Unfortunately, it necessitated my having to go over to the storage unit in the 98-degree heat to find the stuffed animals, rugs and box she needed. Valuable lesson to remember: while you’re care-giving YOU will be the one that has to do the lion share of the work whenever your loved one gets a bee in their bonnet to take on a project-the trick is not to get too resentful about it.

This is true of other “projects” or “chores” as well. I was the one who had to get the vacuum cleaner put back together after she “cleaned” it and I was the one who actually had to vacuum because she was too tired after cleaning the vacuum, and so it goes. Hey, her intentions are pure and you can see that she’s clearly trying to do things on her own but more often than not she requires help.

I can see that it frustrates her and I’m trying not to let mine show, too.

I’m finding the tricky part is shifting gears and helping when I’m in the middle of something myself-like trying to just sit and relax, at the end of the day, watch TV or read a book. My demeanor seems to depend on how much I’ve already done during the day: how many times did I hand her the phone, bring her something else, look for something, listen to a story I’ve already heard……you know, the usual things that make up a day or evening but at a certain point I start to feel like it’s “time to punch out” but this is a job with a never ending shift so I’m still trying to reconcile taking time for myself, when or what’s appropriate to say “No” too and what boundaries to put up.