My friend William came over to take me out on Sunday. I was so excited I felt like we were 17 again and one of us had a parents’ car so we could go to “the Mall”. When he arrived I was soooo ready to leave but he wanted to spend some time with “Mom”. I don’t know what I was thinking-he’s know my mother since were in 7th grade. Of course he’d want tot talk to her, they’re so close she calls him one of her “sons” for God’s sake!

I was so impatient and anxious to go that I tried twice to suggest we be on our way and both times I was met with, “Stop rushing!” I was so embarrassed that I went to the dining room table to work on some artwork while they kibitzed.

I think I’d built up this time as being all about “me”. I see William so rarely that I didn’t want to share any of his time with Miss Cathy. “It’s always about her”, I thought, knowing that I sounded AND was acting like a child.

Once we were finally on the road I calmed down and instantly relaxed. Other than a brief tour around the neighborhood and a short sofa-shopping excursion with the upstairs neighbor, Ron I’d not been out of the apartment to socialize.

We headed to a friend’s place that William wanted me to meet because the guy is a fellow artist. Upon arrival it turned out that Greg, our host was having surprise belated birthday dinner for William, which was great. Greg, and his friend Mike couldn’t have been nicer and I had a wonderful time. I felt like one of four guys sitting around sharing a meal, having great conversation and a lot of laughs-especially when William went down memory lane and recounted several of out adventures together through the 30 plus years we’ve known each other.

I didn’t think about Miss Cathy or my new life much at all-other than an 8:30pm call to make sure that she had something to eat and took her meds. I just felt like ”Ty” and not a caregiver and someone in the circumstances I’ve chosen. No, I was just a guy, hanging out. When we left around 10:45pm I couldn’t thank our host and William enough for the evening, I was as high as if I’d done drugs and we all know I haven’t done that since the 80’s. I thought the euphoria of my “big night out” would last me all week but unfortunately reality settled back in by Monday evening.

While I was aware that taking a break, and getting away for awhile was important intellectually-I had no idea how much it would/will help me emotionally.