This n' that

Miss Cathy has been in a pretty good mood lately; she even made me laugh yesterday. I’d come in to say good morning and to open the drapes in the living room where she was sitting by lamplight taking the curlers out of her hair (the drapery rods are almost to the ceiling so it’s a strain for her to pull the drapes back in the morning to let in the light). After her usual, “Good Morning! How did you sleep?” she said, “You wanna go back to Wegmans?”

I had to laugh, and so did she.

I don’t know what’s been going with me the last couple of days though. I’m lethargic and unmotivated. All I do is sit around, eat, read and watch TV.I leave on Saturday for my first “time off” but even that isn’t putting much pep in my step. Maybe I’m feeling out of sorts because I don’t really feel like the issue of where mom is going to go while I’m away is “really” resolved yet. We’ve talked about it twice: when I brought up my trip initially and then a couple days later she sat me down to talk about it again because she said she wanted to understand why she couldn’t stay here by herself.

In that second conversation I did suggest to her that if the idea of being over at Tony’s was so “horrible” then maybe she could ask her girlfriend, Adele if she could stay with her. It “seems” to me that she’s told me that’s where she’ll be instead of Tony’s’ but I’ve yet to talk with her to nail down the details.

I don’t know what I’m afraid of-confrontation? Running down the list (yet again) of all the reasons why it’s not any option for Miss Cathy to stay home alone? Seeing the hurt and disappointment on her face? Coming across as “bossy” or confirming her earlier accusations that Tony and I are trying to control her?

Whatever the reason it’s a conversation we need to have, it’s only Tuesday but still there are other people involved so I need to get this taken care of. Part of me has a sneaking suspicion that she’ll tell me that Adele is “picking her up” sometime after I have to leave for the airport on Saturday morning and then she’ll actually never leave and stay here by herself.