A Caregiver’s Online Guide: TyTips Pt. lV

1)    Don’t parent your parent the same way they parented you

Now that you have assumed responsible for the care and protection of your parent doesn’t mean it’s time for you to work out (or take out) any negative childhood grievances you may still harbor as to the way you were raised

“If” you feel you were mistreated in your childhood now is not the time for pay-back

Being a caregiver does not give you license to administer retribution for any transgressions that may have occurred

You have been entrusted as their caregiver-not judge/jury presiding over the past

Treat your loved one with the respect, love, consideration and care that you ‘wished’ you’d received or that you would hope to receive from YOUR loved one if/when (heaven forbid) you are stricken with the disease yourself

2)     It’s not all about ‘them’, Carve out some ‘you’ time during the day

Take the focus off your loved one and putting it on yourself  

We (as caregivers) have a tendency to make it all about our loved one 24/7 but it’s just as important to find time during the day to take care of yourself

Do something for yourself, even if it’s just for 1 hour a day; go to the gym, take a walk around the park or go to the mall for some retail thereapy, visit a church, temple or mosque to just sit, pray or meditate

3)    Driving

As caregivers we are the people that are around our loved ones the most and we are best in a position to determine whether or not they should continue to drive

If you do not trust your judgment to be impartial (thinking you may be disloyal or fearful of your loved ones wrath), take your loved one to their geriatrician or primary care physician and let them decide if it’s still safe for your loved one to drive

Remember, if your loved one gets behind the wheel and has an accident, they could not only get lost, they could harm themselves and others as well (potentially fatally) and YOU may be legally held responsible for whatever occurs if you knowingly let your loved one drive knowing were a danger to themselves and others

4)    Join a support group

Make sure that you have someone (or a group of people) that you can go to for help and support

Your loved one is not the appropriate person to turn to when you need to vent your frustrations or have a question regarding their care

Alz.org is great resource to find help wherever you live as well as community newspapers, newsletters, and blogs

To Be Continued: In the interim, I welcome your comments or suggestions from your own experience